When faced with the demands of fathering, it can be challenging to understand our children’s needs and determine what is best for them. When searching for solutions, we may try to find answers by a quick online search or by resorting to a logical strategy that has proven to work in the past. Our culture has made it convenient to rely on our own instincts and trust ourselves to develop the right answers for the questions faced in fatherhood. With an abundance of knowledge at our fingertips, self-reliance is easier than ever before. But what does God have in mind for our fatherhood journey? How does he want us to respond to the challenges we face? Let’s take a look at Asa, king of Judah, and see how he responded to the circumstances confronting him.

In 2 Chronicles 16, King Asa encountered an attack from the northern kingdom of Israel. In response, he sent gold and silver from the temple and his own treasury to convince the king of Syria to align with Judah and abandon Israel. The plan worked—or so it seemed. Israel halted its attack and withdrew. But a prophet of the Lord confronted Asa with an unsettling message from God:

“Because you relied on the king of Syria, and did not rely on the Lord your God, the army of the king of Syria has escaped you. Were not the Ethiopians and the Libyans a huge army with very many chariots and horsemen? Yet because you relied on the Lord, he gave them into your hand. For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to give strong support to those whose heart is blameless toward him. You have done foolishly in this, for from now on you will have wars.” 2 Chronicles 16:7b-9

We don’t fully know what was going through Asa’s mind when his kingdom was threatened by the northern king of Israel, but by putting myself in his shoes, I can imagine that fear and pride may have been major motivators in his response. Fear of defeat by Israel’s army may be what caused him to hastily reach out to the powerful king of Syria for military support. Or maybe it was pride. Maybe Asa wanted to prove his competence as a king using the financial resources and influence at his disposal. Whatever the root of his battle plan, God was very clear that Asa had chosen unwisely.

It is easy for me to judge King Asa’s poor decision-making from my current perspective, but when I stop to evaluate my journey as a father, I have to be honest. There are times when I am more like Asa than I would like to admit. I think of times when I’ve publicly disciplined my children out of fear of what people may think instead of first seeking the guidance of the Holy Spirit. And what about pride? Does pride ever rear its ugly head in my fathering? I know I’ve had moments when I’ve confidently shared advice with other struggling parents based on what worked for my children without first stopping to consult the Lord on what he wanted to communicate. I certainly can’t claim perfection as a father.

Despite Asa’s failure to trust God, there was a beacon of hope in the prophet’s words that called Asa to a godly way of living. The prophet shared that God is actively looking to partner with people who are walking blamelessly before him. I believe this word stands true for us today; God is actively looking for fathers who are seeking to walk blameless before the Lord and lean on his wisdom and insight for the challenges we face.     

Lord, continue your sanctifying work in my life. I desire to have a humble and teachable heart. Please forgive me for the times I’ve allowed fear or pride to lead me in my fathering. I desire your way, God. As your eyes go to and fro throughout the earth, may you find me blameless. I rely on your strong support to father well.

Tags: discipline, wisdom, children, pride, fathers, fear, partner, help, insight, support, fatherhood