For some people just staying sober over Christmas can be a real challenge. The holidays are filled with unpleasant reminders of the past or family members that aren’t healthy or healthy to be around—all the old knives come out. Or maybe you’re just not working, and you don’t have anything to “keep you out of trouble.” The stress of the holidays can trigger unwanted feelings or evoke memories you’ve never learned how to cope with.
Our human instinct is to avoid discomfort, distract ourselves, or drown out unwelcomed anxiety. This isn’t just a problem for addicts; we all have comforts we lean on to “get us through,” including binge-watching movies, excessive alcohol, using painkillers, looking at porn, bargain shopping, too many games on the phone, etc. If you have a history of leaning on substances to get you through the holidays, I’d encourage you to consider forming a proactive plan.
1. Stay connected to healthy community
Maybe that’s your 12-step recovery group, or maybe it’s going out with your close friend who knows what you’re struggling with. Be honest with somebody! Invite them to join you this year or to debrief with you immediately before or immediately after a high-stress environment. A Celebrate Recovery group meets at Petra Church on Tuesdays at 6:00 p.m. (starts with a meal) in the Oasis (East Entrance). We’d love for you to join us.
2. Avoid relapse-prone environments
If you’re still in danger of acting out, you shouldn’t be going into a battle zone. If a particular environment, or relative’s house, is too traumatizing, then take a pass this year. Your spiritual, emotional, and physical well-being depends on it. If there are places in your own house that you need to put practical boundaries around to make it hard to “act out,” then plan that out. Depending on the severity of your “fix,” you might look for secrecy. So develop a practical escape plan to know how to get out of that physical and emotional space. Relapse often happens when we are…
H. Hungry
A. Angry
L. Lonely; alone
T. Time; bored
3. Don’t ignore what your body is telling you
These old wounds hurt for a reason. What is your body telling you? Are you tense and stressed in your neck or back? Are you breathing fast? Are you carrying guilt or shame in your stomach? Do you avoid people or memories? These sensations are trying to communicate something to you. Avoiding them or numbing them only keeps them fermenting inside. We need a therapist, pastor, or counselor to help us, not just go back to the past, but find healing from the past.
Continually stuffing it just keeps it in there. A compassionate shepherd can help you reinterpret the trauma, forgive yourself, or release you from shame or guilt. That’s the power of Jesus working through his people to pull out the soul splinter.
4. Fill your life with different things, like a seasonal hobby
Maybe you do need a therapeutic alternative to chaos. Your phone probably is not it. Additional screen time, social media, talk radio, gaming, or movies aren’t going to do it. Try doing something different. Get outside and chop wood. Attend a jazz concert. Take a walk under the Christmas lights. Put puzzles together. Attempt a new cookie recipe. Do something that anchors you to the real world, slows you down, and saturates your senses with invigorating and positive input. Go to sleep early. Drink water instead of sugar. Take a one-time jog. You don’t have to start a new routine or go crazy, just do enough to disrupt your rhythms with healthier alternatives. The answer isn’t to speed up your life, the answer is to slow down.
5. Fill your life with godly things
Don’t just fill your life with good things. Try filling your life with spiritual things this holiday season. Turn off the superficial Santa music, and turn on worship music. Listen to the Psalms on your Bible App. Spend time trying to pray or meditate. Start a three-week journal that forces you to reflect.
Conclusion:
These can be a part of an emergency plan to get you through an emergency situation. Who knows, maybe some of them will stick. Maybe not. Don’t try to win the war. Just win this three-week battle in front of you. I pray that this holiday season, you will have the strength to win this three-week battle. May the Lord refresh and renew you as you seek to walk a healthy path.
Tags: community, christmas, groups, addictions, plan, relationships, strategy, stress, lonely, sober, relapse, boundaries, bored, triggers, trauma, tire
