This is the genealogy of Jesus the Messiah the son of David, the son of Abraham: Abraham was the father of Isaac… Salmon the father of Boaz, whose mother was Rahab…Solomon the father of Rehoboam, Rehoboam the father of Abijah… and Josiah the father of Jeconiah and his brothers at the time of the exile to Babylon… After the exile to Babylon: Jeconiah was the father of Shealtiel… and Jacob the father of Joseph, the husband of Mary, and Mary was the mother of Jesus who is called the Messiah. ~Matthew 1:1-16
Families are mistake prone, full of heroes and harlots. They can be dishonest and manipulative. They can be driven and egotistical. They can be passive and tolerant of behaviors they shouldn’t be. In families, you are sandwiched against real personalities and thorny opinions. You see through each other’s inconsistencies. You’re annoyed by each other’s verbal jabs and unwelcomed politics [Somehow, they can’t see what seems so obvious, and it’s frustrating that I can’t change them!]
When the Messiah (God) wrapped himself in flesh, he didn’t just wrap himself in humanity. He wrapped himself in a family, a specifically flawed, deceptive, unworthy, and glaringly inconsistent family. Jacob the dastard. Rahab the harlot. Boaz the half-breed. Rehoboam the egomaniac. Shealtiel the quiet. These are seriously real characters. You could probably look around your next Christmas gathering and identify these characters.
The Word of God came to claim and renew our family cast of characters: The role models and the kids-don’t-try-that-at-home ones, too. Jesus ferments within us first. Then he works in our families. Some family members will never choose Jesus, and it is not your responsibility to force it on them. But sowing seeds of kindness or truth-in-love can have a lasting impact and can change the temperature of the room. Maybe your prayers or lifestyle will impact one of your cousins or soften your agnostic niece to the whole idea of “faith.”
Here’s a practical punch list to provide some holiday help:
- Ask the Holy Spirit for empathy and compassion for the hard-to-love family members.
- You don’t have to control them; you can just love them.
- You don’t have to correct them; you can just listen to them.
- You don’t have to respond to insults; you can silently swallow it or walk away.
- You don’t have to put up with manipulation or jealousy; you can “call it for what it is.”
- You don’t have to expose your children to harm or harmful behaviors; you can set boundaries.
Sometimes, change is organically small. The “seed” of God’s promised Messiah laid dormant for centuries. The line of Abraham seemed just as prone to failure as success. The house of Judah was unraveling with ungodly dysfunction. Yet, after the long exile and banishment, God hadn’t given up on his promises.
In the same way, he is still faithfully working in your family. The gospel begins in us personally and gets worked out in our closest relationships. Let’s be honest; sometimes, that can be the hardest soil.
Tags: truth, christmas, compassion, family, gospel, advent
